Session 8: We have a small issue

Our tale takes place in the ruined city of Neverwinter, a nexus of brave adventurers hoping to forge their destiny within the crumbled and apocalyptic shell of a once grand city.

Our adventure starts

Actually before we played, we helped our amazing DM move heavy ass exercise equipment up 2 sets of narrow stairs.  How’s your back Balthazar?  Hopefully better than the ceiling drywall.

Today’s cast of Neverwinter protagonists include…

  • Kaiser Hemlocke: human | ranger4
  • Baron Silas Hightower: half orc | fighter4
  • Hildegarde Stonewall: dwarven | rogue4
  • Clyde: human? | berserker
  • “Chowder”: human | fighter3
  • Garrister: half elf? | fighter2
  • Marcus Valorious: human | fighter3

Potion Test Subjects…

We gaze upon the shield wall and with at least 4 missions to choose from, we had hoped to be able to complete at least two missions.  A few missions had been on the shield wall for some weeks and we decided to pledge our services to Captain Kresk by hunting wYverns.  There was another mission in that same direction, so we had lofted expectations of knocking out two birds with one stone.

We met with Captain Kresk and took the job.  At least, that was the plan…

Lofty expectations in tow, we decided to add yet another mission to our agenda.  It seemed simple enough- “Test Subjects wanted for Potion Trials”  The reward was 100gp and two potions to add to our ever expanding cache of valuable elixirs.  It seemed like a good idea at the time… 15 minutes we estimated… We hoped to quickly slam a potion and gain our rewards with the risk that a party member or two may end up with some temporary ill effects.

So the plan was to quickly slam a few potions, go on a wyvern hunt, and hopefully capture a wanted criminal on the way.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”  It is a very common phrase.  But it never seems like the most accurate thing to say in retrospect.

To the Alchemist Tower

Antheus, who hired us to test potions has long been a familiar face. We always make sure to visit him before each mission; his potions and elixirs have aided us through many hard times and adventures.  His familiar face led us to believe that this would be a quick and safe mission (for most of us anyways) so we headed to his ocean front tower located due north of Neverwinter.

Just one drink, all the cool kids are doing it.

We uneventfully arrive at Antheus’s tower and knock on his door.  We are greeted by an old gnome named Dwarp, an assistant to Antheus.  He lets us in the castle and Antheus walks in with a small chest that sounded like it was filled with glass bottles or vials.  He informs us that we will need to walk away from the tower in case of any unforeseen issues.  So we walk about 10 minutes away into the woods.

I know what you are thinking- “You left with a friendly but odd man leading us to the woods with promises of sweet drinks and free abilities?”  Well his tower had windows and there was “no free” candy sign. It seemed like a good idea at the time…

Bottoms Up!

We each drank our potions with the exception of Clyde who was our designated coffer holder.  We all rolled fairly well and we received the following abilities…

  • Marcus could regenerate
  • Hildegaude glowed
  • Kaiser was irresistible to the opposite sex (apparently the potion had no effect :p)
  • Chowder turned invisible
  • Baron could speak with animals
  • Garrister grew bark skin

We collected our 100gp reward with new powers intact and headed on our way to hunt wYverns.  Or so we thought..

It’s a small world after all

We begin our walk back when all of us get a pain in our stomachs, causing us to keel over and passout.

We awake and it is nighttime.  The forest trees looked different.  They were all green… Kind of like giant pieces of grass… And that one kind of looks like a giant flower… “Hey, wait a minute..!”

Aw fuck…  Antheus has shrunk the PCs.

Right about the time we figure out that were shrunken, we start to hear a loud rustle.  Barron (who could understand animals) heard a serpentine voice. (click here to experience what he heard)

Barron the “man of many rolled fours” gave his best Slytheren response but the snake was too hungry to make meaningful conversation.  Battle ensued and the giant… menacing… vicious… garter snake was defeated. OK, OK, OK- it was just a garter snake. But he was a mean fucking garter snake.

After we defeated the great evil snake.  We continue a path back to Antheus’s tower.

Fey! Don’t be like that! Put me down!

Along the way, we see a trail of sparkles in the sky.  Fey! A pixie or sprite we suspected.  Kaiser, being an experienced man of the wild (and ultimately a huge dumbass- more on that later) decided to call out to the flying fey, thinking it to be friendly.  It seemed like a good idea at the time…

The pixie arrived, and soon fell under the magical effect of Hemlocke’s potion. The pixie also had a bumblebee in tow.  The pixie, Oonne, was so smitten with Hemlocke that she kidnapped him- with plans of dress up and tea parties.  She snatched up the ranger and flew off.  Heroic Barron attempted to wrestle the pixie’s bee companion with hopes of mounting it like a horse.  He didn’t get to ride the bee, but he kicked it’s ass.  (Sound Clip from the Barron vs Bee fight) Eventually the pixie was convinced to bring the ranger back to his companions (with a little help from a sharp blade, a delicate fey neck, and a dire promise).

Disaster averted, we continue on our path back to Antheus’s tower.  Along the way we meet four other poor souls who were shrunken by Antheus as well. Mardaspar the Mighty, Waylan the Evoker, Krixx the Pickpocket, and Fazeek the Transmuter all fell to Antheus’s volatile potions as well.  They inform us that they attempted to head back to the tower but the animals that frequent the beach were too much to handle.  They apparently lost 10 others from beach crabs and seagulls.

Unconvinced, we rally the four other poor souls.  We band together and continued our trek to the tower.  Then we hit the beach…

Surf & Nearly becoming the Turf

We hit the beach and form a diminutive phalanx.  Hoping our combined mass would protect us from the seagulls and other critters that inhabited the sandy beach.  A seagull landed off to the side.  Hemlocke, was convinced he could charm the bird and made his way to the seagull.  It seemed like a good idea at the time…


The ranger casts his animal friendship spell only to be met with a curious look from the bird… And a razor sharp beak.   The gull violently pecked at Kaiser Hemlocke, nearly killing him. Luckily the brave party came to his aid.  When our phalanx broke to save their companion, a crab popped up from the sand.  A literal Pincer attack!

Our adventures fought bravely with Garrister delivering the final blow to the seagull and Clyde decimating the crab with his trusty great axe.

Back into the tower

Our adventures make it to the entrance steps to the tower, narrowly avoiding footsteps from Dwarp, Antheus’s gnomish assistant.  We called to the gnome but he could not hear our voices over the din of the beach.

The steps seemed giant to us but luckily Hildegaurde was able throw a grappling hook and rope, allowing out brave adventures a way into the tower.


We slip under the door into the tower.  We make our way into the great room where we were attacked by a decayed animated hand.  Marcus sheds a tear.

Hand-to-hand combat ensures and our adventures again narrowly defeat death from the great appendage of death.  This fight was a lot of fun with a few adventures nearly meeting their maker.

We’re down here!!!

After the battle with the great hand, we avoid certain death from a wind elemental that apparently served as Antheus’s Roomba.

A barefoot Antheus walks into the room and we try our best to get his attention.  Barron uses a scroll of dimensional doorway to teleport on the potion maker’s shoulder. He tries and tries and tries (the DC was a 10 but John’s dice were not up to the task… multiple times) to get his attention but all of his attempts were met with a shooing motion.  Thinking the mighty half-orc an annoying fly.  Luckily, Hildegaurde was able to land her grappling hook on Antheus’s bed garments and she made her way up the potion maker’s torso.

He eventually walked into the privy, sat down to take a shit, when Hildegaurde finally got his attention.  She explained that his potions had an adverse effect, shrinking her companions.

Antheus cures us of our tiny prison and captures Fazeek the Transmuter (he was one of the other unlucky, shrunken bastards that we met before our beach encounter).  Apparently Fazeek was an evil wizard and tampered with the potion maker’s supply.

For our troubles, Antheus allows us to discount all future purchases at 50% under the promise that we do not speak of this event (luckily he didn’t say anything about blogging ;p).  Our fully sized adventurers return to Neverwinter for a much needed rest.

But Friday soon approaches…


Great job team